There’s a part of growing your business that the pipeline gurus don’t talk about enough.
The waiting.
You’ve had a great conversation. Sent the proposal. Answered the questions. Followed up thoughtfully. Now there’s nothing else to do until the prospect decides.
Two days of crickets can feel like two years.
Especially when you really want the deal. Your pipeline is thin. It’s a big payday. Or the fit is so good you can practically see the work you’ll do together.
That’s when I watch for what I call grippy energy: wanting an outcome so badly that it starts running your mind.
Should I have said something different? Why haven’t they signed? Maybe I should send one more email.
Sound familiar, Misfit?
A Perfect Fit. Still Thinking.
A few weeks ago, I spoke with a potential Band of Misfits member who checked all the boxes.
Great expert. Interesting person. Wanted to contribute to other members’ success. I could see how much they’d get out of being in the band.
They asked about the fee and what membership included. I sent the whole kit and caboodle: details, testimonials, references.
They acknowledged the email.
“I’m going to think about it.”
I was good for a day. Maybe two.
Then I felt the grip.
Misfits was growing. I didn’t need this particular person to join. But my mind was getting attached to the yes anyway.
What Are You Actually Gripping?
My mentor recently shared a framework that helped me understand what was happening: three human impulses that can keep us from feeling settled and doing our best work.
Approval. “If they sign, it proves I’m a great expert.”
Control. “Why haven’t they decided? I want to get this moving.”
Security. “I want to know that money is coming in.”
Check in with yourself. Which one sounds most familiar?
For me? All three. (Thank you for attending this impromptu therapy session.)
The security piece can be especially loud when you work for yourself. Without that familiar paycheck, it’s easy to let a prospect’s decision carry a lot more weight than a single business decision should.
Once I notice which impulse is flaring up, I have something to work with.
First, Give Yourself Some Space
I start with a physical reset I call the “hero stretch.”
Raise your arms overhead. Take a deep breath. Then slowly lower your arms.
Slowly is part of it.
Try it. Notice how you feel.
That’s one way I settle myself when my mind starts running away with the story. You could also take a walk, do some breathwork, meditate, or pet a dog. Dogs are very helpful in this department.
Find something that helps you relax enough to choose what you do next.
Then, Send Them Good Vibes
Here’s the part that might sound a little out there.
I picture the prospect and wish them well.
I hope you’re having a great day. I hope you’re finding what you need. I hope things are going well in your life.
Half of you are nodding. The other half are thinking, Stephen. Good vibes?
Stay with me.
If you have a prayer practice, this might feel familiar. For someone else, it can simply be a moment of goodwill.
I remember that this person has a whole life outside my proposal. Their own priorities, questions, and decision-making.
As I do that, I stop mentally reducing them to a dollar figure or the next box on my new-business checklist.
I feel better. And I can give them room to think.
What the Prospect Told Me
A few days later, that potential member came back.
They’d thought it through and were excited to join.
Then they told me something I needed to hear: they were an impulse buyer in plenty of areas of life, but deliberate about business decisions. They needed time to reflect, check the numbers, and weigh the pros and cons.
They appreciated that I’d provided the information they requested, then stepped back.
“You gave me space.”
Did my good vibes somehow cause their decision? I have no idea.
I do know I felt calmer. And they told me the space mattered.
Getting Good at Not Knowing
This practice comes after you’ve done the useful follow-up and given someone what they need to make an informed decision.
When the next move belongs to them, check in with yourself:
Am I looking for approval, control, or security here?
Then try the stretch. Take the walk. Wish them well.
Uncertainty comes with running your own business. We breathe it every day. Part of the job is learning how to be okay while the answer is still unknown.
You can care about the outcome and give it room.
Profits + Peace ✌️,
—Stephen