The Best Worst Compliment: Why "You're Good at Sales" Made Me Bristle (And What It Teaches Consultants About Selling Yourself)
Hate selling yourself? Here's how independent consultants and coaches can win prospect meetings without ever feeling salesy.
Hey Misfit.
I got the best worst compliment a couple weeks ago.
I was on a call with someone interested in Band of Misfits. Brilliant person, doing phenomenal work. Great conversation. And toward the end of the call, she said something that stopped me in my tracks.
"You know, you're really good at sales."
Record skip.
I bristled. I said, what do you mean? I haven't even told you the price for the program.
She goes, "I don't care about the price. I want in."
She's now a member. Yay. But I couldn't shake what she said, and I want to unpack it, because there's something in there for you.
Why "Good at Sales" Felt Wrong
If you're like me and most experts, you don't like selling yourself. It's awkward. It's annoying. It feels sleazy.
And if you've spent any time in business, you know the feeling of being sold to. Even without sales training, you can spot the moves. They start putting you in boxes. Agitating the pain. Running the script.
I never want my conversations to feel like a sales pitch. Because they're not.
So why did she say it?
What She Was Really Saying
Here's the thing. She wasn't saying I ran a slick pitch. What she was really saying was:
You really believe in what you're doing.
And I do. But here's the important part. I wasn't telling her how good I was. That's what a narcissist does. "Let me tell you how great I am." That's not you, and it's not me (I have an ego, I just try to keep it in check).
What I was doing instead was this: I spent the whole conversation talking about the problems I love solving for our misfit members.
The problems that keep my members up at night. Not growing. Not making enough money. Not charging enough. Feeling handcuffed to deals with not-so-great clients because the terms and conditions weren't right.
I get such a buzz helping my members win by solving those problems that I get intoxicated talking about it. And what that prospect was experiencing was my emotional energy. My belief.
People Buy the Twinkle in Your Eye
Here's how to land this plane so you can use it in your next prospect meeting.
Spend more time talking about the problems you love solving for your clients.
Because that's what a misfit is: an expert who loves solving problems for other people.
When you get a gleam in your eye talking about those problems, that contagious energy closes the right people. They feel it. They think, "This person cannot wait to get out of bed in the morning to solve the exact problems I have."
That's what people buy.
They don't want to hear how great you are. Case studies and data points only exist to affirm what they already feel inside. We buy everything based on emotion and justify it with logic.
Your Move
So here's my invitation for your next prospect conversation:
Lead with the problems you love solving, not your credentials
Let your real enthusiasm show when you describe those problems and the outcomes you create
Ask the prospect: do you have these kinds of problems?
Share examples and case studies only to reinforce the feeling of fit
Drop the scripted stuff. No pain-agitation moves. No cookie-cutter talking points.
When you do it this way, you're authentic. You're in your power place. And that's what people want: the whole expert, not the talking points.
Stop trying to sound good at sales. Show up as the expert who is genuinely energized to solve their problem, and invite them to see if there's a fit.
Profits + Peace ✌️
— Stephen